CHAPTER FOUR: "I WAS ASHAMED SO I LIED AND TOLD MY DAD I WAS GOING TO LOOK FOR FURNITURE"


 

For some strange reason, between 1-2am I would find myself up thinking “I need to do something”. 


At this point, I weighed well over 260 pounds, and my eating was completely out of control. 


Not to mention that a majority of my money was being spent ON FOOD! 


September 17, 2018 @2:13am, I finally registered myself to attend the Weight Loss Surgery seminar at New Jersey Bariatric Center (NJBC). 


My seminar was scheduled for October 9, 2018. 


I did not want to attend the seminar alone (again), so I asked my mom to accompany me. 


Let me rewind while you have a seat at the feet of my heart. 


Considering Weight Loss Surgery was something I was VERY ASHAMED of. 


Getting the courage to speak to my mom about it was tough. 


Back in 2017, when my mom and I went to the FIRST seminar, she asked “Are you going to tell Daddy?’. 


I was truly ashamed and embarrassed and did not want my dad to know. I didn’t WANT ANYONE TO KNOW.


Embarrassment and Shame held me captive and I went into protective mode. 


So I lied. 


When my mom and I were on the way to the FIRST seminar with NJBC, I  lied and told my dad that my mom and I were going to a furniture store to look for a new bed. 


Fast forward to Oct 2018, my mom and I are on the way to the SECOND seminar and my dad calls. 


My heart started beating super fast!


My mom whispered to me “Are you going to tell him”?


I told her that she could tell him.


We were sitting at the red light by the corner of my house. 


I vividly remember looking down at my hands shaking on the steering wheel. 


I listened and my mom proceeded to explain that we are on the way to a Weight Loss Surgery  seminar. 


Anyone who knows my dad, knows that he is super animated and loud when he is excited (Love you dad!). 


I was awaiting his response with nerves sitting in the pit of my stomach.


I wanted to take my words back.  


I zoned out for a second and remember “coming back to reality” when the car behind me beeped the horn. 


I could hear his voice and NO HE WAS NOT ON SPEAKER PHONE LOL !


I heard him say to my mom  “WORD?!!!! GOOD FOR HER. I’M SO PROUD OF HER. TELL HER I’M IN HER CORNER. ”.



*Total sigh of relief*…


And trust me when I say, that man has been in my corner EVER SINCE. 


Okay now, fast forward….


My mom and I get to the seminar. 


MIND YOU, this is the SECOND. 


THE SECOND!!


THE SECOND seminar we have attended.


The information was pretty much the same. 


Per New Jersey Bariatric Center (NJBC), if I was going to consider Weight Loss Surgery again, I needed to attend a new seminar…. so there we were. 


Their rules. Not mine. 


I gave them my insurance card. 



I slid it across the table with “Salt Bae Energy”.  


I was cool as a fan cap this time, because I ALREADY KNEW I WAS COVERT!!!


My intake appointment with the surgeon was scheduled for Tuesday, October 23, 2018. 


I walked out of that seminar with the Peace of God mixed with some olivia pope swag.. 


I was MORE THAN READY this time for the journey ahead and I KNEW it would be smooth sailing.


HA!








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