Dear Sweet Girl,
It’s 11:06pm and I found myself thinking again. Let me be honest, I found myself OVER THINKING which is something I tend to do. Am I the only one that does this?
By the time you’re reading this, my website would have already been launched (yay)!
Tonight while getting ready to go upstairs and prepare for my evening routine, I found myself inundated with thoughts about launching my website. I also found myself thinking about how I told God in 2020 that I was ready to be uncomfortable.
Yeah.. God was listening... because ya girl BEEN uncomfortable since January 1, 2020.
12:00am to be exact. Soon as the ball dropped. Just sayin.
Let’s face it. Beautiful things NEVER grow in comfort zones.
If you’ve read about my weight loss surgery journey then you are familiar with how I hid behind my weight and insecurities for years.
Can I be honest?
I’ve also hidden behind my gifts.
I’ve mastered the art of hiding.
A part of me felt as if I wasn’t good enough.
A part of me felt “Don’t tell your story. No one cares about what you’ve been through. No one cares about your blog”.
Those are LIES and false narratives. LIES of the enemy to be exact!
Tonight around 11:06pm, after getting off an AMAZING prayer call, those thoughts resurfaced.
*Sigh* Here we go again.
I held space for the thoughts.
I acknowledged them. Challenged them. Reaffirmed myself and THOUGHT I was moving along...to bed.
As I was preparing to go upstairs, the Holy Spirit whispers “You have sat in the back of the classroom long enough”.
Did that just move something inside of you? It surely moved something inside of ME.
I stopped midway in my tracks and was like “HUH?!”.
And The Holy Spirit whispered again (almost as if saying YOU HEARD ME lol).
“You have sat in the back of the classroom long enough”. Very commanding yet in a soft and angelic way. (IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW).
AS IF I needed confirmation or something. Let’s be real. My spirit knew immediately what that meant. I knew EXACTLY what that phrase was speaking too. I knew EXACTLY what it was convicting in my heart.
It spoke right to my whole “I like being behind the scenes” notion.
By this time I was in the middle of my kitchen, standing around looking like Boo-Boo The Fool because the Holy Spirit almost took me out.
I looked at my computer sitting on the table and I already knew what time it was.
Which brings me to the point of this letter. I was instructed to write a letter of encouragement based upon what The Holy Spirit revealed to me.
Hence why I’m writing to you at 11:06pm. I’m just being OBEDIENT. I don't want NO SAUCE with the Lord (smile).
Is there a dream lingering inside of you waiting to be birthed? Is there a business attached to your name that needs to be launched but you're scared?
Do you hide behind the heavy demanding titles of your life “mommy” “wife” “boss”, etc?
OR when it’s time to take care of yourself you find yourself coming up with excuses like “I don't have time”?
Is there a book you need to write? A class you want to teach? A website you need to create?
What dreams, ideas, goals are you sitting on in the back of the classroom?
Dear Sweet Girl, It’s time for US to stop playing small.
It’s time for US to stop hiding behind our gifts, our fears, our negative thoughts, our various roles, our insecurities, etc.
For some of you, It’s time for you to start communicating your truth even if your voice shakes.
Similar to myself, it’s time for US to walk to the front of the classroom. We’ve been sitting in the back (COMFORTABLE) far too long.
I know it’s comfortable in the back.
TRUST ME I KNOW !!! (Yes I’m Yelling - But It’s The Sweetest Yell Mixed With A Lot Of Love) Smile.
I also know it feels safe back there too but it’s time WE graduate.
Oh. Don’t Worry. I’m speaking to myself too! It’s time for Chyna to stop hiding and staying “behind the scenes” (my friends will tell you - thats’ my all time favorite line to use).
“I like being behind the scenes” aka I like being in the back of the classroom (not seen) in the corner aka I’m the master at hiding behind things. But that season of hiding is O-V-A!
If you’ve made it this far in the blog, just know I left the classroom because you’re reading about it LOL.
NOW.....If you’re wondering whether I left the classroom kicking and screaming like a four year old
or if I walked out like Olivia Pope.
That's between me and GOD...UHKAY!!! Just govern yourselves accordingly.
I kinda did a little of both. BUT that’s neither here nor there...
Dear Sweet Girl, If you’re reading this, I encourage you to self-reflect and ponder on what things have kept you in the back of the classroom long enough.
While our journeys might look different, just know that WE are walking together.
It’s time to take that walk from the back to the front of the classroom. LET’S GO!!!!! ...
As always, Heart to Heart, My Hand in Your Hand, I’m Proud of You.
If you feel led, share your heart with me in the comments or send me an email.
See you in the front of the classroom!